1. Backwards Steelers hat. Not only is this more intimidating, but Ben Roethlisberger wears his hats in this fashion, so it must be cool. (Ed. note: it isn't.)
2. Incredibly corny, yet timely novelty t-shirt. Alternate shirt for game day: “On the Road to Sixburgh”.
3. Duffle bag from a previous Super Bowl, thus letting everyone know that this ain’t his first rodeo.
4. Colored, reflective sunglasses protecting his eyes from giving any clues about his motives. Hint: They likely aren’t friendly. Or legal.
5. Gold chain, just to let you know that he’s got it like that.
6. Superman tat. Why in the world would this guy feel the need to have a Superman logo on this leg? Ask your mom, bro -- she knows why.
7. Bluetooth. Because one hand is reserved for a Terrible Towel and the other an IC Light.
8. Pencil-thin chinstrap. Much like how the male gorilla’s back hair is silver, this strap of facial hair is used to distinguish the male Steelers fan from the female. Despite this bit of brilliant evolution, there is still oftentimes confusion.
9. Steelers tat. This guy loves the Steelers for life and now NO ONE CAN DOUBT THIS!
10. Matching shorts and shoes. Because you gotta look good out there when you’re begging for autographs, am I right, ladies?
Thanks to Chris Mottram at the Sportingnews.com
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